A horrible, wonderful, scary thought struck me the other day.
By the time little Leia is the same age as Lacey, my eldest …
my sweet little Lacey will be 16 years old. Driving a car. Becoming an adult. Falling in love (Oh, Lord, help me!). Thinking about college.
I’m not sure how that is possible – will it really go by as fast as these past eight years have gone by? I remember the day I found out I was first pregnant and had to hold in my joy and excitement in my tiny cubicle at my work, knowing it was too early to tell anyone. I remember going in labour 2.5 weeks early and being so excited and scared all at the same I remember when Lacey was born. I remember the moment the doctors called out and said, “It’s a girl ..!! and when asked what her name was they all agreed Lacey was perfect for her as they said, “She looks like fine lace …”
Realizing how fast the next eight years may go, I worry that I have not done enough with her, have I taught her she is beautiful inside and out, that she is God’s princess, that she can always come to her mommy and daddy for help, have I trained her to think of others first, to be a hard worker, to stand up for her beliefs, do I praise her enough for helping me around the home, do I tell she she is loved enough … do I kiss her head and hug her little body enough? Do I paint her nails enough and play with her hair when she asks me to … do I spend enough time scratching her back, finding out what she dreamed last night and reading to her before falling asleep at night …
Why didn’t someone tell me that being a mom meant more than seeing that blue line show up on the pregnancy test? That being a mom was more than carrying a baby in your womb for nine months… That being a mom meant you will stay up at night, staring at your daughter’s pretty little face and praying over her. That being a mom meant struggling to know if you are doing everything you can do to be THE BEST mom that God has called you to be to your precious child. That being a mom literally meant your heart would leave the house every time she did.
This mom-calling. It’s pretty big stuff. I’m thankful for God’s grace in all of this …
by Gigi
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