Today I failed.

The morning started off wrong – or rather, I started the morning off wrong. A rough start to homeschooling. A rough start to parenting. A rough start. Period.

As the morning slowly but surely crumbled in front of my eyes, I knew in my heart that my patience was not where it should be, that it wasn’t *really* my kid’s fault, that I needed to have more grace and that I was doing it all wrong.

Ugh. I hate that. I hate that feeling of knowing the day is spiralling down the drain and I’m the one pulling the plug. So this morning,  I gave myself a time out. I picked up my devotional and read today’s devotion. A little prayer. A little eye opening. A little grace. Five minutes and the entire day changed.

Today I am grateful for snapping out of ‘fail’ mode. For that still small voice that told I was being ridiculous.
For forgiving children and husbands. For God and mercy. For turning the day around and seeing things in a different light.

For the dinner in the crockpot. And the giggles of the girls in the next room (even though, yes, they just woke up Lovelyn).

Thankful for little things like a Valentine-themed lunch (yesterday’s treat) … (idea from here)

for Valentine’s crafts made for the grandparents ….

For the chance to make a mess and the opportunity to teach my girls how to clean up. 🙂

thankful for a quiet moment in the afternoon …

and for tummy time …

“None of us are finished yet.
We really have to keep that perspective …
having grace is really important in a family environment because without grace, we expect perfection.
And grace is allowing our family to be human, to make mistakes.”

– Jill Savage

February 11, 2011 - 8:58 am

p macintosh We have all been there Gillian in one way or another that is for sure and your blog is a reminder for everyone to stop and take a moment to take a breath and realize we all have bad moments….and things do get better!

February 11, 2011 - 8:56 am

p macintosh we have all been there Gillian and your post reminds us that this is what life is all about….finding that “aha” moment to make us realize it is ok to feel this way sometimes and then pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get on with the day….you are a great mom!

February 10, 2011 - 3:05 pm

Jennifer Heemskerk I can definitely relate to needing “grace” especially when parenting our many small children. It’s nice to know that we are not alone in this as mothers and that although we are imperfect, we are perfect in Christ. Thank you for your encouraging words!

February 10, 2011 - 9:53 am

Natalie As parents we all face these momments. It is a truly eye-opening momment when you realize that you hold in you the power of change, the realization that you shape your own reality for better or worse. You are a blessing to those of us who forget that parents need “Time out” to clarify, recharge and move forward with and open mind and open heart. Thanks for the reminder.

February 9, 2011 - 10:32 pm

Cathy What can I say..Beautiful!

February 9, 2011 - 7:29 pm

Amy Rasmussen-Harry Hey Gillian, A beautiful post and I totally agree with your thoughts on how to turn around a bad day into a good day. With my Kids, they are very challeging everyday. By the end of the day, I look at them and say that day is done we can start a new day in the morning.

February 9, 2011 - 6:53 pm

Evelyn Gebele This post is more than beautiful! Thank you for sharing! You are amazing!

February 9, 2011 - 5:34 pm

Emily Dilloway i needed to read this today. thank you. i am off to do valentines with my babes.

February 9, 2011 - 5:33 pm

krista I say kuddos for you for recognizing you needed to have a time out and gather yourself and get your focus off yourself, the situation around you and even the kids and onto the Lord!!!
the old simple song grabs my heart every single time: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full into His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His Glory and GRACE.”!!!!! keep it upg illian—you are a doing a great job! thank you for being vulnerable in exposing the not-so-great moments too! They are as important as the great moments! Shows others that we mess up & fail and not always get things right, but we are trying the best we can.

February 9, 2011 - 5:23 pm

Jo Smith So rich. Perspective is everything. What amazing mommies we can be….with help….from Jesus!!!! 🙂 Again, wishing we were closer.

February 9, 2011 - 5:14 pm

Brenda (Gillian’s Mom) Awh, sweetie … that is such a precious post. Thanks for sharing your heart and how really, we can turn things around. First in our heart and then in our families. It all starts with a DECISION! Thank you for making that decision. 🙂
Beautiful beautiful pictures too!!!
And thanks for the Valentines. I can’t wait till Sunday! xo

February 9, 2011 - 4:55 pm

kath siebert beautiful post gillian. we manage to ‘start over’ many times in the week.

here’s to knowing where our grace comes from!