Feminine Dressing ~ Your Clothes Matter

“In this culture, we should be a picture of femininity.
We don’t want to try and be masculine, we don’t want to look masculine and we don’t want to be masculine in any way …
we were created FEMALE and feminine and therefore that is how we should live.
How sad to go through life and not be to the absolute fullness what God created us to be.
Therefore, because we are female, let’s embrace our femininity with all our hearts. Let people see that we are female …
let our children see that we are female … that we are embracing this role …”

-Nancy Campbell

 

 

I was only 13 years old at the time, but my life was being fully influenced by the lovely writing of L.M. Montgomery – the whimisical scenes, the old fashioned living, the country settings, the dreamy days of walking through farmer’s fields and listening to the birds sing … watching lazily as clouds drift by in the bright, blue summer sky … and the feeling of a skirt swishing around my ankles …

Returning home, I found myself the centre of some of my siblings’ family joke- dressing in a skirt, my head in a clouds, and wishing I lived in another time …. well, I suppose not much has changed in most ways – especially in the manner of dress.

For a while, I did don jeans and tank tops and the world’s attire with satisfaction – in college, one easily falls prey to looking like your peers and I am afraid that is what happened with me. Gone were the days of handmade down clothes and skirts that made me feel like a young lady. [Now, if I could go back to college, I would not be influenced in any way by the current clothing style, but that maturity and confidence comes with age.]

But it did not take long – after stepping away from the world, becoming a Mrs. and then blissfully taking on the transforming role of becoming a mother to many, many little girls that my eyes opened to what I was wearing. My mind was changed and I knew I needed to return – and start – dressing femininely again. It would not matter what my friends were wearing and it did not matter what the current fashions were – I wanted to set a certain standard in my own little home for my own little girls – who, yes, were silently watching everything their parents were consuming, doing, wearing and promoting in our lifestyle.

 

And so, from then on, I was never hesitant to dress my girls in ‘feminine’ dresses, let them look like little girls instead of ‘tiny teenagers’ and allow them to bloom into their own personality and girlhood. Often times, while at church, other mothers would come up and ask, “How do you ever get your girls to wear dresses? Mine will only wear jeans!” And while I have no set answer, I do believe, beginning from their childhood has helped. The older girls now choose to wear skirts and dresses – they enjoy wearing clothes that make them look like feminine, instead of masculine, and they find jeans uncomfortable. I try to find a timeless look for our outfits and one not too modern.

“Why do women want to dress like men when they’re fortunate enough to be women? Why lose femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I’m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don’t want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error…”
Tasha Tudor

 

In the mornings, I find time to sometimes visit the local grocery store before the family wakes up. I am always, of course, dressed and ready for the day. Going to the same store at the same time on the same day of the week over a period of time has allowed me the opportunity to recognize the employees and clerks and produce workers.
One morning, one of the produce men approached me and bodly said,
I just have to ask. Why are you always dressed so nice so early in the morning? Is it for a job? Do you go to work after this?”

I smiled, thanked him for the compliment, and told him that no, this is just how I dress and I would be returning home to my children for the day after my grocery shopping was finished.

“Well,” he, said, as he continued to put the bags of carrots on the shelf, “It’s a refreshing change, that’s for sure.”

His little comment encouraged me – even at 7 a.m.,  what you wear makes a difference. It will make you feel more ready for the day and it will lift your spirits to be wearing something tidy and lady-like.


Of course, personally am attracted to an old fashioned lifestyle, a way of living that does not fit into this current world and therefore it comes out in my style of attire. But from what I see in the public, the clothing for women is not very feminine nor even attractive nowadays, with many of the clothes looking like it could be worn by your brother or the man in your life.  The lady-like style is mostly been erased from our wardrobe choices – one must look very carefully in order to find an outfit that will appear feminine in style.

If you have never worn skirts, it may take time to get used to it. It is a different feeling and you will walk and sit differently. This is not bad – this is a good thing. However, if you are interested in appearing more feminine in a world where North American women have lost their feminine graces, I would encourage you to try wearing skirts or dresses for one week and seeing how you feel by the end of the trial time.

Over time, some have questioned our ‘skirts and dresses’ attire, but it has never bothered me to be the only one in my extended family wearing skirts or dresses. I find great joy in dressing like a woman – a feminine woman – it is fun! No need to hide who we are; God made us different from men – and in this day and age, it is time we look like our gender.

Frumpy, loose and ripped (on purpose) clothing is not classy at all.  You *can* be comfortable without wearing leggings or yoga pants.

Perhaps, in this confused day and age, it is time for girls and women to return to feminine dressing. Don’t be afraid to dress differently  – in fact, in some cases, opposite – than the rest of our female culture.  Yes, a little lady like style may not only brighten your day – but perhaps change the perspective of those little [and bigger] girls that are watching you.

 

November 15, 2019 - 9:28 pm

Gigi Jen, you could try aliexpress.com for feminine dresses and blouses (but beware, like many internet sites, there are some outfits that are not modest in any form and they do come up when you search blouses, etc….) Also, I check ebay and just have to search my size and the style I am looking for. Amazon has a few nice dresses (vintage dresses, maxi dresses, floral dresses) and quite a nice selection of skirts. I feel it is easier for American’s to find nicer clothing – shipping is often a problem for Canadians.
For a vintage look, you could look through Etsy, although it can be pricey so you have to really watch out for something in your price range.

November 14, 2019 - 11:37 pm

jen Loved this post!!! There is something to be said about dressing beautifully and modestly!
What are some of the online shops you use? I’ve tried ebay but can’t seem to find lovely dresses or shirts….any suggestions?

November 7, 2019 - 4:06 pm

Gigi Kathryn, that’s so funny – I would be flattered, as well!

November 7, 2019 - 12:42 pm

Kathryn Lovely blog today!
This is an area I very much agree in. About 20 years ago my sister in law, thinking she was cutting me down, declared to our family that she thought I belonged back in the 1800s. LoL Oh, it was the opposite for me, what a nice compliment! 🙂 I didn’t want to be “like the world”.

I do now wear pants more often (wide leg, more like a palazzo pant) as they are just more comfortable, but I wear a very long tunic or often a dress (about knee length) over them for modesty.

Thank you for sharing from your heart, it is always nice to visit with you.
Have a blessed day ladies!
-Kath

November 7, 2019 - 11:37 am

Gigi Yes, Monica, I agree – we cannot earn salvation with our dressing. I was more focusing on the point of feminine attire – 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure it was encouraging for many!

November 7, 2019 - 9:45 am

Monica Lovely post and beautiful ladies. I think your post is so “on point” for our day and age and the culture we live in. No doubt dresses are more feminine and classy than pants and I know there are feminine and classy women who DO wear pants, but it just seems that if someone IS going to be frumpy are harried then they will have on pants. It’s almost impossible to be frumpy and harried in a skirt or dress. And also as our society gets more “gay” (I hate a beautiful word like “gay” has been sentenced to such a bleak imprisonment), the gender differences and distinctions seem so much more important! It’s almost as if we hear a calling, “Let the women step forward as WOMEN”.

A little about me…I grew up as “dresses only” but from
The perspective of I HAD to wear them for salvation, to be “pleasing to God”…it was the false doctrine I was raised in. It is still very prevalent around where I live. We can NEVER earn our salvation or even KEEP our salvation with righteous works and that’s what “dressing right” tends to do. We know the BLOOD of Jesus is the only precious thing that keeps a person saved and as it is applied at conversion then something frivolous as CLOTHING cannot compare in the least bit. Wearing a dressing does NOT make me more righteous or more worthy to get into heaven. Only the blood applied will be accepted.

That being said, a few years ago the Lord called us out of that doctrine into truth. I continued to wear dresses because that is what I was used to and also because it’s what my husband wished for me and for our girls. It IS more modest. Somewhere along the past few years, the Lord has taught me the right perspective of it all. It’s not to gain or keep salvation, it doesn’t earn me a righteous standing with HIM but it is what seems best for me and for our family. I can dress as a WOMAN in a society where lines are blurred, I can be modest while dressing this way, and I can hold on to old fashioned values of simply looking nice and being presentable in an age of sloppiness and slobbiness (which do not reflect Christ).

Being practical, I will wear pants to work in the garden (if it’s a long, hard day of working) and with milking a cow I sometimes prefer my pajamas as I never know if the cow will kick mud or ahem, manure on me, and just the freedom of CHOOSING to wear dresses is so freeing. I don’t HAVE to now, but I choose to because it’s what is best for us as a family. I knew and still know a LOT of people who do not know WHY they wear dresses or skirts, they just do it because their church teaches it, but it’s so nice to have the choice of being feminine and modest, and I choose it! Hugs! xoxoxo

November 7, 2019 - 6:20 am

Gigi Thank you, Nancy. The blouse is a find on ebay. Thank you for your encouragement!

November 7, 2019 - 6:19 am

Gigi Teresa, that is amazing. And now your daughter has a store with modest dresses – we should link it up.
P.S. Shorts are definitely the worst for wearing on girls!

November 7, 2019 - 6:19 am

Gigi Thank you, Stacy. I’m in agreement with you in regards to the boys and what they see in the world today. It’s so sad.

November 7, 2019 - 6:18 am

Gigi Hello Kristal: yes, we do use thrift stores for our clothing, but locally, we have rarely found anything. There’s not even any dresses in our thrift stores anymore. Sometimes, we will visit a Mennonite thrift store about an hour away and they will have nice homemade dresses for the girls to play in. Sometimes we find things on Etsy but they are costly so we are limited with that avenue. I search ebay and Amazon now for pretty styles. I know finding dresses that are nice is much more challenging now – I wish I could sew my own clothes. Maybe one day!

November 6, 2019 - 10:17 pm

Kristal Sorry, posting from my phone this evening and my comment posted when I was trying to edit it. I was asking if you thrift your clothing, not thorough your clothing (haha).

November 6, 2019 - 10:15 pm

Kristal Such a beautiful post. This is something so many women should seriously think about. Current fashion styles are so troubling and I find myself working hard to gaurd my girls against it. Nobody has asked you this yet, but where do you like to find your dresses (because even current dress styles can be so inappropriate)? Do you normally like to through your clothing or are there specific stores that are tried and true for you?

November 6, 2019 - 9:18 am

Stacy This is one of my fav posts you have done so far. I feel like I could have written it myself. I grew up dressing like the rest of the world up until 4 years ago. It was so upsetting to see the women of our world dress so immodestly in front of my boys. We have 4 boys and I surely did not want them thinking this type of dress was ok. So I completley had a change of heart and began only wearing skirts and dresses. It has been a wonderful change and even though I get many comments I would never go back to the worldly ways. Thank you for always sharing your heart. I also love your videos as well. It is easy to share those with my mom friends

November 5, 2019 - 11:26 pm

Teresa @ Simply at home I love this, its so nice to find someone who wears dresses and skirts, Thank you for sharing this. I have worn dresses and skirts for 43 years. All five of my daughters and three granddaughters have worn them since birth, they have never worn pants or shorts. What lovely photos of your beautiful family.

November 5, 2019 - 8:24 pm

Nancy Gigi, what a beautiful and captivating post. All the photos are pure loveliness! The long-sleeved, lace-trimmed white blouse your daughter is wearing in the second photo is simply gorgeous. I have always appreciated and admired the way you and your daughters dress. No matter what domestic activity you and they are engaged in, your skirts and dresses radiate feminine beauty. Thank you for adding such a breath of fresh air to my day!