“The child is the beauty of God present in the world,
that greatest gift to a family.”
-Mother Teresa
Hefting my heavy-weight one year old on my hip, we lined up and filed into the back door of our church this past Sunday. The weather was cold and wind bit at our ears. The girls were excited chatting, of course, delighted to be going to church this Sunday morning. Weary from a long week of late hours at work, my husband, holding the hand of our two year old son, followed from the last of the line as we entered our little church.
Good morning’s were said and hands were shaken, smiles exchanged and pleasantries slipped easily from our lips. As a routine, the children continued to walk straight into the sanctuary (oh, what a beautiful word!) and took their seats at the back of the room. We fill a whole row now – it’s quite the sight, but one that warms my heart. While Sunday morning preparations, tasks and work are not easy with so many little people, it is a chore that I gladly take on. In order to get out the door in time, Sunday preparations begin on Saturday with the laying out of clothes and the meal tended to so that we can eat as soon as we return home. Now, at church, everyone clean and presentable, seeing our row filled with those shiny heads of braided and twisted hair and two little boys at the end, a happiness fills my heart. It is an eternal blessing I cannot even explain.
While the girls were filling up with news from their dearest friends before the service began, I noticed a new family up front. Thinking it would be nice to welcome them, seeing as they were attending for what I thought was the first time, I quietly went up to their row, sat down and introduced myself.
Yes, they were new, they said, but just visitors, visiting from two hours away. They were friends with one of our elders. Both husband and wife were school teachers and had just returned from an overseas teaching adventure. Their two children and themselves were now settling into a small town in Ontario and finding their way back into the North American culture and lifestyle. The parents were teaching a local public schools in their new small town. We chatted for a bit – I asked their children their names and introduced myself to them, as well. When the mother asked me if I had a family, I nodded and smiled.
“Yes, my husband and I have eight children … they’re back there, in that row,” I said, pointing in my family’s direction.
The woman sat straight up, stared at me and let her eyes grow wide – her face melted from a smile into something that looked like disdain. She did not smile warmly again to me … her mouth formed an ‘O’ as she said, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh ….. okay.”
She sat back her chair, her face still unfriendly. “Well, we all have our limits. Two is enough for me,” she continued.
Shocked by her seemingly unfriendly reaction … and quite taken aback … I stumbled with my words.
“Well, you shouldn’t say that,” I said, smiling weakly. “Yes, it’s a lot of work and my house is not a tea party all day long, but it’s worth it.”
My mind was swirling with possible ways to explain this idea of ‘Children are blessings!’ to my sister in Christ but my tongue felt frozen and the words seemed stuck in my dry throat. I wanted to say, “Haven’t you read the Bible …? Children are blessings, not curses!”
She gave me a small smile in return, but the conversation seemed to be a standstill. I fumbled a bit , saying the children at least all have playmates during the day and that we have fun together … but it did not seem to matter what I said. Giving notice that the service was to start, I quietly spoke my farewells and returned to my seat at the back of the church. Still shocked over this Christian women’s negative reaction, I pondered this in my heart during the rest of the service.
Is this what we, as Christians, have come to? I don’t believe the church always thought this way – there has been a following away, a slow fade, from turning away from Scriptural thought of raising families. Growing up, I remember attending a church with my family where large families abounded. Children were welcomed and considered a gift from God. Sadly, have whispers of the world seeped into our mentality now?
Tell me what the world is saying today,
and I’ll tell you what the church will be saying in seven years.
–Francis Schaeffer
Perhaps you may read this and feel I am jumping to conclusions from one tiny conversation – but look around you at your church and fellow Christians. Many women – and believing women, at that – do not even see the Biblical reason for having children … they are missing the point .. are they blinded by what the world has said is better? Travel, a career, success, money, time? They return to work quickly after having their baby. Daycares are in full use. Careers are pursued after graduation before the thought of actually preparing to be a mother.
I know family size can be limited by God and I do not judge anyone who has a smaller family or less children. One of my dearest friends aches for her arms to be filled with another newborn, but God has not allowed that to happen yet. Your family size – big, medium or small – is truly none of my business – however, I am referring to the despairing mentality of those who simply do not see the blessings and the Biblical mandate in having children, raising up arrows for the Lord, to those are a possibly blinded by the world’s fuzzy expectations of a comfortable, easier life of less children. I am referring to those who stop or do not have children because the of the world’s tantalizing scenes of personal success – or perhaps it is because of fear of the wicked culture, as I have often heard from some who chose to not have any children at all.
“One of the biggest threats to the devil is husbands and wives who understand God’s revelation for marriage and who will birth godly offspring for His glory. The deliver is frightened of the godly seed, for it is they who will destroy the works in this world.
Instead of becoming more and mightier, we are becoming less and less. Christians are having as few children as the world. Instead of obeying the Word of God, we have followed the trends of the world. There was a time when Christians believed God and equated children with blessings.
The enemy knew that God would need an army in this hour to fulfill His great purposes. He knew that if he could diminish God’s army, he could thwart God’s plans. It is the strategy of Satan to minimize the holy seed. The sad thing is that the Christian church has unconsciously fallen into this trap. As Christians in the last few decades have decided to have fewer children, they have limited the power of God on earth. God’s plan is to fill the earth with His glory. God calls the increase of children our “glory.” {Hosea 9:11}
– Be Fruitful and Multiply:
What the Bible Says about Having Children
Contrary to this story, later this week, I met an unsaved women at a local grocery store. She asked how many children I have and when I told her eight, her reply was vastly different than the reply given in God’s church.
“That’s great, just keep doing what you are doing … you’re doing what makes you happy and you only have one life to live,” she said with firmness and a peppy lilt.
I greatly appreciated her positive reply – and told her so and then moved on with loading up my truck with the groceries. We parted ways, but I also pondered her reaction, as well. It should be noted that we are not just having children because it ‘makes us happy ‘… in fact, this phrase is a bit bothersome as I know this is how the world thinks right now: “Do what makes you happy, be who you want to be, you can do anything you want, etc.”
We are not just living life as we please. Oh my, it is a lot of work to raise a family – large or small! It requires money and time and energy, self sacrifice. Every day, I am asked to put my needs aside and attend to someone else’s. My husband works diligently and very hard to bring home the finances required to raise our family. But this self sacrifice is essential. It is the refinement of my own character – I know, humbly, if I cannot be loving, gentle and kind at home to those that are the closest to me, then I will fail when I need have such character traits out in the world.
“At the end of the day, I need to ask myself only two things –
What did I do to Jesus today? What did I do for Jesus today?”
We can ask ourselves a variation of this:
“What did I do to my family today?
What did I do for my family today?
-Mother Teresa
For every new mom who cradles her firstborn with delight , I wish I could make a bit pot of hot tea, give her a hug and whisper into her ear, “God will take care of you through this journey of motherhood! Cling to Him! Do not listen to the world!” Motherhood, having babies, raising children, creating and humbly disciplining a family that loves the Lord, these are incredible tasks, however, they are also beautiful blessings for the woman who desires to follow after God. If you are listening to the lies of the world – through friendships or books you are reading or t.v. shows you may be watching – stop! Find new friends, search the Scriptures, turn off the shows and listen to encouraging sermons or podcasts. There are ways to fill your heart with Biblical wisdom and godly encouragement. If God has given you two or 12 children … thank God for such a calling and devote your life to raising them to hear the Scriptures daily, to love the Lord and delight in His ways. Stop trying to look and act like the world.
The world’s way is not the right way. It will not bring you eternal joy.
“God’s people are exhorted to ‘abhor that which is evil’, but instead we have embraced this evil. We have gradually succumbed to the philosophy of the world until this philosophy has now become the belief in the church …
As God-fearing people, we must constantly challenge our beliefs to make sure they are not the world’s thinking but that they line up with God’s word.
We cannot be neutral. Psalm 106:34-35 says, ‘
They did not wipe out those godless cultures as ordered by God; instead they intermarried with the heathen and in time became just like them.'”
– Nancy Campbell
May I encourage you today to enjoy your children, see them as blessings! Show the world that motherhood is a godly calling … and do not listen to what the world says. This world is not our home.
“If you want to bring happiness to the whole world,
go home and love your family.”
-Mother Teresa
by Gigi
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