Children – are you seeing them truly as a blessing or a curse, an annoyance, a punishment, to your life?
A recent conversation with some friends was, sadly, very eye-opening … each conversation was “me- focused”, excluding their children, speaking of how they avoided doing things together as a family by serving their own needs first, and complaining in general about the raising of children, even other people’s children. I don’t think this lady even realized what she was saying or how her words sounded … In the Christian circle, we may say children are a blessing – but do our actions speak the same words? What are our children seeing? Are they seeing themselves as a bother, as a nuisance, as a hindrance in fulfilling our own goals and desires in life? Yes, children come attached with noise, dirt, laundry, chores and your needs are definitely not first in line if you are mother. But didn’t Christ say to lay down our lives, to be the servant of all? Motherhood is about serving with joy in our heart. {Matthew 23:11}
It is common to hear mothers say: “I used to be able to to do {insert activity of choice … go for coffee dates, have a career, help out at church, go on random shopping trips} and then I had kids.”
It is even more common for mothers to find ways so they may resume said activities and often times, miss out on the amazing blessings of laying your life down to serve your family.
I find that so heart breaking … I wish I could tell all mothers everywhere “You have one chance to raise your children! Don’t miss this beautiful calling!”
The Bible says to have a child is to be blessed. {Psalm 127:3-5}
It doesn’t say it will be one big picnic with chocolate frosted cupcakes and sunshine every day … but it does say God considers children a reward. Children are gifts given by the King of Kings – if God gave you a gift, would you shuffle it off so carelessly? Or would you treasure it, protect it, nurture it with excitement? If God was giving money as a gift, we would surely say “More, more!” but when it comes to blessing families with children, we often put the brakes on and find ways to permanently stop receiving children – and often times, hurry along the ‘growing up’ of children so as to have our ‘free time’ back again. It is sometimes done even without realizing it’s happening – but slowly and with great craftiness, the world can seep into our homes, into our family life and day by day, pull our children away from parents and parents from their children.
Please understand, I am not saying you need to make a child centered world – by no means am I encouraging the spoiling of children by making them the centre of your universe. However, it does tell us in the Bible that we are to be training, raising, guarding our children, loving them and keeping our focus on God and family. In a me-centered world, it is easy to flip our priorities around without even noticing.
Children *are* a blessing. {Matthew 19:4} We may say this but do we act the same way, especially around our children? Or do we hush them to return that phone call or text a friend, grumble about them around friends {I know I have to guard my tongue with this one as the toddler years can be daunting!}, and push them away when want to help in the kitchen and everybody knows, baking with children will take twice as long and be three times as messy!
But children grow. And quickly!
The time that God has given us together is short – guarding our time spent together should be important. While it may seem natural, don’t be tempted to separate so quickly as a family. {Proverbs 22:6} Practical ways of staying together are easily implanted – going to volunteer at a booth for your church or for a ministry-related program? Take your daughter or son with you! Let them learn and serve with you! If a dad is going to Bible Study at church, he could take his son – imagine the godly examples he will see instead of staying home and using his time watching t.v. or surfing the internet. Going on a missions trip? Take your children! Going to the store for a quick errand? Take an older child with you to be a helper! And you never know, you may have a chance to witness to the lady behind the counter that smiles so tiredly at you and your few children in line. {Proverbs 22:6}
As a homeschooling mom, raising and teaching my children is a never ending task. Priorities need to be: God first, then husband and children. This family of mine is precious – and I must guard my eyes from taunting, sparkling ways of the world that will pull me from my job as a mother. {Again, I am not suggesting a mother cannot take a coffee break with a friend, but perhaps we need to ensure our priorities are lined up Biblically – have your children truly seen you this week? Have you spent one on one time with them? Truly listening to their heart? Is your husband needing you? Are there chores at home that need tending but have been shirked because of idleness?}
I pray my actions speak louder than my words … because it is all too easy to complain about the work and tasks and never ending chores that are automatically assumed in the role of motherhood and in raising a family … but if God calls children a BLESSING and not a curse, I will gladly embrace such words of life!
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127: 1-5
by Gigi
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