{Adore}

Loving is not just looking at each other,

it’s looking in the same direction. 

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939

 

 

Valentine’s Day is  here!!! A day of love and hearts and celebrating the true essence of adoration. (Oh yeah, I LOVE this holiday!!!!)

 

And for some time now, like many of you wives out there, I’m sure, I’ve been struggling with what to give for my husband.

 I want to do something. I want to give a GREAT gift …  to impress him and spoil my husband. I’m not being pressured by the media … I’m not being guilt-ed into celebrating Valentine’s Day. I honestly want to give a fabulous present that says “I love you” all wrapped up in a box and then go on a special, lovey-dovey-all-dressed-up-adult-conversation date with my husband!

Just a recap …. we’ve been married seven years.

When Abby and I first met in January 2002, we fell in love and got engaged by April and married in September 2002. We had a total of nine months from start to to finish to get to know each other. And since then, life really has been a whirlwind of events and births and pregnancies and travelling and working and changing diapers and chasing after the children.

We have had three kids in in seven years, one of them being a six year old now, so …….. do the math.

This has left very little down time for us as a couple. Not to mention, his line of work means he is always on call, often misses holidays, works long hours and deals with very intense and emotional situations … so often, we push our date nights to the very back, dusty, cobweb-filled corner of our lives…

And I still feel like I have a lot to learn about Abby. We still are learning about what makes a marriage work – how to communicate (seriously, I’m working hard on this one!) and how to learn each other’s Love Language. 

Don’t get me wrong. This is not going to be a lovey-dovey-doting-post about my super amazing Hubalicious. But it’s also not going to be a negative, whoa-is-me-we-never-go-on-dates-he-just-doesn’t-get-me-post. Just simply that I do love my husband and am grateful to be his wife. And it’s all relative. I could complain the day away or I could focus on the positive aspects of our marriage.

I love him despite his faults and my faults and all (and don’t we all have faults and seriously, isn’t that what a marriage is all about?!). Yes, my husband snores. Very, VERY loudly. And he leaves footprints across my newly washed floors on a daily basis.  However, he also makes the kids’ breakfast in the morning so I can shower. And picks up munchies if I have a craving late at night. Yes, he works late hours and long, long days and often I feel like I’m the only mom or wife out there home alone five out of seven days of the week … BUT I am grateful for his job, for a steady income, for God’s blessings and for the fact that I know he is making a difference with his job and just not out wasting his time. At times, he may look at me with a complete, blank-stare when I’m crying and saying “I’m overwhelmed!” and not know what to say or do to make it all better, but he also begins each day new and fresh in the morning and does not hold grudges. Sometimes, he even starts the morning by bringing me a coffee. That’s the best.

So after weeks of trying to figure out what to get Abby to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I decided – and not without much thought – that I would work on one thing: work on being a better wife. Often times, we easily slide into the role of mother and then the role of wife takes a back seat. After all, who’s kidding who? Being a mom is exhausting! But we have to make sure we don’t leave our husbands in the dust, something I have to remind myself of often … a marriage needs work (mine especially!) and we can’t expect it to be perfect 100% of the time. 

 

I’ve been following the Love Dare and although some days I’m not able to finish it, I am working on it and I know it will be worth it!

I also know that, although my role as a mother is incredibly important,  Abby was here first. And he will be here when the kids leave home and we’re left eating Cheerios alone at the breakfast table (or who knows, maybe we’ll be eating fresh pineapple at a beach somewhere with the sand between our toes – now, there’s something to strive for!) And so I want our marriage to sparkle, to ooze of love and joy …  and while that may not be realistic 🙂 … I can work at it. And I can try to be a BETTER wife. A better friend. And a better partner.

 

Abby is an amazing dad to his three little girls. 

 

He helps with bath times when he’s home. 

 

He loves each of his princesses with all his heart. And he tries to be the best daddy he can be. 

 

He knows how to make each of our girls feel so loved and cherished.  

 

 

And yes, he does wear a crazy hat and has a strange love affair with tractors. 

 

 

 

but he gives kisses when they are needed …

And he does his best to treat me right. He suffers with all our pink and girlishness in this house and watches Pride & Prejudice all other lovely Jane Austen-ish type movies with me on a Saturday night. And he lets Daisy sleep at the bottom of the bed even though he thinks that’s just wrong.

 

Yes, I am a lucky woman. We may not be the perfect couple but we are perfectly fit for each other. 

 

I love you, Abby. Happy Valentine’s Day. xx