A Politically Incorrect Wife

“… Christian marriage is only possible in Christ.
{and} you cannot have a united church without united marriages.
It’s for that reason, you see, that marriage really, really matters…
because … this is not about us – this is about Christ and the church.
So, the question is,
do I care enough about Christ and the church
to bring myself in line with the authority of the Bible

even when it is so fundamentally demanding,
so politically incorrect?

And some of us are answering … no.”
Alistair Begg, in reference to submission to husbands


It is shocking to think that churches are avoiding this area of teaching in recent years. Would it surprise you to find out in all my years of attending church, I have never heard one sermon in real life on the roles of husbands and wives? I certainly wish we would hear more sermons preached from local churches on this aspect. Thus, in an effort to be encouraged, taught and discipled, I have searched out sermons online to listen to – and there are many wonderful resources online. Here is the link to Alistair Begg’s sermon on wives. It is worth listening to, as I did today while baking some bread for dinner.





Over the past season of my life, I have felt conviction more than even in this area of submission, in this role as a wife. In the world, woman are told to be loud, to be pushy, to be independent, to make their point known, to aim higher and find personal success.  How does this work, then, when that same woman is suddenly married? Who comes alongside and teaches that young woman the Biblical ways on how to treat her husband and how to honour God through her marriage?

It is certainly not a natural inclination to be submissive, quiet and gentle for most women. Indeed, we are often overbearing, munipulitave and powerful! What a taming of character is required!

This teaching of true submission and how to love your husband, according to the Bible,  is missing in many churches, in many sermons and, sadly, from the teachings of many pastors. If you attend a church that teaches straight from Scriptures on this issue, consider yourself blessed!

Over tea last week, my dear friend and I discussed this topic. While the children played and the cookies were being eaten, we sipped our tea and shared how we both had been searching Scriptures and attempting to tame our tongues in regards to how we talk to our husbands. We both agreed that there truly is nothing more ugly than an abrasive, mouthy woman, especially when she is talking to her husband in such a manner! With little eyes watching and little ears listening, we are certainly feeling more accountable, as well. But it would not matter if there were children in the home or not – it is God who is indeed watching and listening.






It may even seem like a small issue and yet, the breakdown of marriage is amazingly detrimental to so many aspects of society. Submitting in these little ways – the building up a godly marriage – may seem so trivial compared to larger issues – and yet, they are all connected, are they not?

I know that, in this modern age, women are certainly not encouraged to be under anyone’s authority, much less their husbands. With an attitude of haughtiness, it seems women try to rule their homes but in turn, destroy their marriages. Following Biblical standards is not something that comes naturally – I have to fight my selfishness, I need to fill my mind with good teaching and Scripture and I need to constantly remind myself of godly instruction.

Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.


And for that reason,  in this day and age, I aim to be a politically incorrect wife in all aspects of my life and marriage.


P.S. I have a Bible study online that has been encouraging to listen to… perhaps it will be helpful for you, as well.



February 10, 2018 - 10:10 pm

Gigi Thank you, Joan. Your words are encouraging.

February 4, 2018 - 10:59 am

Joan Benson Hello Gigi, I so love your beautiful blog. Thank you for introducing me to Alistair Begg. What wonderful preaching!! You are such an inspiration! Blessings!

January 26, 2018 - 11:05 pm

Sue Oh my goodness, i happened upon some more articles about the womens march…it is shameful to say the least. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and is in support of this march…please tell me that you havent seen their signs??! I am so embarrassed for them. They are everything they hate. I can not understand how anyone who claims to be a Christian can condone such foul , vulgar behavior. These are not poor, voiceless women at all!!

Bethany, i dissagree, justice is not at the “core” of Christianity. Maybe you meant Justification by faith? Which is entirely different. It is a work of God, not of man.

January 26, 2018 - 10:08 pm

Katy Reading through the comments and I just wanted to add that I Have read Created to Be His Helpmeet too and it’s good! I also love The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace!!! (And Homemaking by J.R. Miller)

Also…love Voddie and Alistair Begg…as well as many others! Always love to find families who love Scripture and Biblical teaching as much as we do!! :o)

January 26, 2018 - 9:56 pm

Katy Hello! I couldn’t agree with your more Gillian!! 🙂

We honor the Lord when we (although equal with our husbands) are submissive to them as Christ (who is equal with the Father) submitted to Him! :o)

January 26, 2018 - 1:57 pm

Gigi Hello Bethany, thank you for your comment. 🙂
Yes, we, indeed, we as Christians are to care for the poor, the weak and the widow, as you mentioned. In regards to the women’s march, all images I have seen and articles I have read have been clearly un-Biblical and showcasing ungodly attitudes- ie. supporting sex trades and prostitution, supporting abortion on demand, especially abortion of down syndrome babies – that does not sound like caring for the helpless, poor or weak.
In regards to the cherry picking, were you referring to the sermon mentioned about or my blog post? I do not believe either was cherry picking verses, as the Bible is pretty clear about marriage and the roles of husbands and wives. Yes, absolutely, the women you mentioned were great examples of strong women in the Bible. There is no need to give up you womanly strengths and gifts in submission – just learn to use them under the guidelines of the Bible. Esther and Ruth are indeed some of our favorite books in the Bible here in this household of girls!

January 25, 2018 - 8:58 pm

Liz Hi, yes, it’s definitely a good discussion. I was thinking (not sure I can articulate this well)…….I think it boils down to: trust vs. needing to understand. What I’m reading here is if you trust and have faith in how the bible says you should live your life and surrender then things will “work out/fall into place”. God has a plan, trust in His plan for our lives. I think what I hear you saying is if you abide by how the Bible has said to live your life (e.g. submit) then your problems and frictions will be minimal. However there are those of us who have a desire to understand. People in our world who fret about things such as finances (e.g. If one of us doesn’t work, how will we survive financially? How do I afford to give x amount of money to the church each week?) There’s those who want to have a voice or be heard in a marriage (e.g. Having opinions, desires, feelings that are frustrating to ignore and bury and can cause resentment). I read your quotes and I know what it says in the bible however putting it into action when you have worries and obstacles and concerns for your family’s well-being, safety and basic life necessities. I know you say to trust and have faith however those concerns exist in a lot of people.

January 25, 2018 - 4:56 pm

Gigi Liz, sorry for the slower reply. We had a birthday celebration yesterday and I was unable to check messages. Regarding men – one thing to remember, for sure, is that we, as women, do not need to “go through men to be closer God”. We can each have an individual, personal relationship with Jesus, which is so wonderful! Regarding men not being perfect but still being our “leaders”, yes, that is the case – as we are all sinners. Our husbands are sinners and are married to sinners, unfortunately. No husband will be perfect and all will sin. When we submit and allow the natural order of God-man-woman leadership to take place, God covers the details. It is a deep topic, indeed, and one I could write about in a longer post… I hope this helps a little though.

January 25, 2018 - 2:11 am

Lauren Gillian! You seem to have sparked a wonderful conversation on your blog! Did you receive my email? I will resend if you didnt. No more info than that!!

I hope you are all doing well!

The bible is very black and white on the subject of submission.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:22-24.

and that is only ONE scripture! There are more than these! How can a home run effectively if the husband and wife are both the head of the home? It can’t! It’s a battle for authority. It’s a constant head-butting. I’ve witnessed it myself.

God has set our roles. Modern society is perverting Gods order. Christianity is a culture in itself and we are not to adhere to the ways of the world. Take a look at the very early church and do a study on it… that would be my suggestion.

“Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.” – 1 Jude 3

January 24, 2018 - 4:25 pm

Sue Liz, you have many questions and there is an answer for All of them in Gods word, the Bible.
Corrupt men (and women) have been in positions of power since the beginning of time–that is nothing new. It is a sin problem. Yes, there is the human factor and ways of dealing with and bringing people to bear for their sins, but that action alone will never change humankind or bring healing to the broken hearted. The Gospel transcends human reasoning and logic to bring true forgiveness, healing and peace. Have you completely surrendered yourself into the hands of the Lord yet? If not, i encourage you to do that. Then, you can also begin to pray for all women and our world so that they they can come to the knowledge of Jesus saving grace.
2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land”.

January 24, 2018 - 1:58 pm

Liz Sue, So what would be the answer for dealing with someone like Donald Trump or Harvey Weinstein who are in positions of power but are ungodly people themselves…..assaulting women, speaking vulgarly about women, etc. Women should not react to that? These men need to not be in positions of power however not doing anything about it keeps them in that position that allows them to continue to abuse others. We as women, should support and care for each other not judge each other or call each other names (shameful). We should listen to the concerns and the pain of others.
As for why we need to “go through men” to be closer to God…I will never understand it. It doesn’t make sense to me. Why are we thought of as the “weaker sex”. Is it only to avoid fighting in a marriage? What about men who are not good family leaders (alcoholics, depressed, abusive, uneducated, racist, etc.), how would a women be expected to submit to him? How would he be an expert on the bible? What about women’s talents? Why can’t we explore our strengths like men can? What’s the purpose of needing us in this specific role? Why the only way to be close to God is to be in a very prescribed role? I know the bible says this but I struggle to understand the logic behind it (other than keeping the peace in a marriage….which it might not always).
I’m sure we’ve all had these questions in our heads at one time or another.

January 24, 2018 - 1:56 pm

Lucy John MacArthur has a great set of sermon on the Curse on the Woman (and a great set on God’s pattern for Families). In part 2 of “The Curse on the Woman” he says this:

Now let’s look at the specific of the language here that expresses the conflict. “Your desire shall be for your husband.” Now let’s talk about the word “desire.” What does it mean? It’s an interesting word, it comes from an Arabic root and I have continued to survey this passage because it’s been a passage of some controversy. But it is of Arabic root meaning to seek control. Literally it could read, “You shall seek control over your husband…you will desire to exert your will,” that is a sign of the curse, “you will desire to take charge, to be in control, to master.” And that desire shows up in various women in various ways. In some of them it’s a quiet, silent desire that smolders, with others it is a shouting desire that isn’t much of a secret to anybody. And the more godless women are, very often the more hostile they are toward men. Sometimes that hostility takes the attitude of coldness, indifference, apathy. Because she can’t achieve what she wants, she eventually becomes totally indifferent and apathetic toward the man.

Great stuff.

January 24, 2018 - 10:00 am

Sue Hello Liz, according to New York NBC news, this is what the women were marching for: Organizers said they were marching because basic rights for women, immigrants and others are under attack. ( ie President Trump) Many of them wore pink cat-ear hats as a show of solidarity, while others carried signs stating opposition to Trump and his policies. AND: She said this year’s action is set against the backdrop of Trump’s presidency, which “turned out to be as scary as we thought it would be; I’ve not seen any checks and balances, everything is moving toward the right, and we have a president who seems to have no decency.”
These women have an agenda and it is not towards godliness in any way, shape or form.

Concerning women who have been abused and speaking from my own personal experience in this area, only Jesus and His shed blood can completely wash away the pain and guilt that is associated with sinful acts committed against them. Anger and defiance is the way of the flesh but Jesus said in Matthew 11: 28& 29 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and i will give you rest”.

When i submitted myself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, i put my whole life into His hands and He has given me ” Beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61: 1-3. Now, Jesus guides me into proper submission to my husband and like others, i ultimately answer to Him for my own life and no one else’s.

January 24, 2018 - 7:35 am

Gigi Liz, I have not read much about the women’s March but from what I did see, there were a lot of signs with vulgarity and attitudes that were not just for women’s protection against sexual assault. Marching to give rights to be a sex worker is something I would indeed call shameful.
In regards to where the men fit into the Biblical role, there is an absolute definite role for them – it’s all listed in the Bible and could be a long post – however, I am not accountable for any man, not even my husband. I am accountable to God for my own life.

January 23, 2018 - 8:27 pm

Liz Wow, to refer to the women’s marches as “shameful” and “ridiculous”? These women have been recipients of sexual assault! Are you advocating that that is okay? God would rather you be submissive than speaking up for wanting your body to be respected and treated as a temple.
You discussed about how women should be “submissive”, but how about men? How should they behave?! What does the bible say about them?
I think the definition (possibly lost in translation) of the word “submissive” needs to be more closely looked at before studying/discussing this topic further.

January 23, 2018 - 7:37 pm

Regina I have and an reading Created to Be His Helpmeet and I love what I’ve read so far. I also bought have been using the journal that goes with it.

January 23, 2018 - 11:53 am

Sue Yes, I agree, we can be a great help to our husbands. “Gentle” is the word for me to remember lol!!

January 23, 2018 - 11:08 am

Gigi Yes, that is one of my favorite books! It changed my life when I first read it 7 years ago! And yes, speaking personally as a woman who has a strong personality and an “excitement” for life, perhaps it *is* harder to be quiet and allow our husbands to lead… 🙂 But I do believe we can be helpful to our “quieter” husbands with our exuberance for life – if we allow God to lead us and we are still gentle in how we word our suggestions, ideas, etc.

January 23, 2018 - 10:35 am

Sue I really appreciate your honesty in regards to your struggles with submission. Maybe some of us struggle in this area more than others? I am also wondering if women who have a strong personality and sense of interest, excitement and vision for their homes/families may find it more challenging than others? I am married 40 years this year and i still have to be especially careful every day to keep myself in “check” in this area. I find the thing that helps me most is if i am submitted first to Jesus, ( in prayer, reading of his word and general mindfullness throughout the day), then it becomes more natural to be submitted to my husband. Also, a book that has been a great help to me is “Created To Be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl. I have read and re-read it several times! P.S. i too am a politically incorrect wife 😉

January 23, 2018 - 9:30 am

Gigi Yes, I, too, enjoy Voddie’s teaching!

January 23, 2018 - 9:29 am

Monica We certainly enjoy Alastair Begg’s ministry, also another one to listen to regarding marriage and family is Voddie Baucham. Sound teaching! So thankful the Lord opens our hearts to His Word and teaching because like you said, it is something that doesn’t come natural to our sinful flesh. He is so gracious!

January 23, 2018 - 5:48 am

Gigi Lauren, so good to hear from you – we have been praying for your family! Yes, let all women be politically incorrect – at least among the Christian church! And yes, there is so much to the Christian walk. I am always amazed at how, even the little things, like submission in daily life and respect, connect with the larger, deeper issues.

January 23, 2018 - 5:46 am

Gigi I did not read about the march but I am sure it was ridiculous.
I hope you enjoy the Bible Study – it has been encouraging for me.

January 22, 2018 - 8:40 pm

Lauren Being a submissive wife is what God calls women to be. The head covering falls right in line with it… the headship order. The head covering is a symbol of the headship.. God-Jesus-Man-Woman. We answer to our husbands (ultimately, at the end, God)… it’s like a chain and of command. our Husbands are directly responsible for us, the weaker vessel, and our husband will be accountable for how he lead the home. We will be accountable how we obeyed God, in obeying and submitting to our husbands. Amongst other things obviously. There’s so much to the Christian walk!

Let all Christian women be politically incorrect! Let us all be women after Gods own heart… not our own!! Let us seek to obey him in all things… that’s how a person shows their love for God. “If ye love me, keep my commandments” John 14:15.

January 22, 2018 - 6:34 pm

Regina I too am happy to be a politically incorrect wife! I feel this more than ever especially after the shameful women’s marches that occurred over the weekend! Thanks for the link to the Bible Study. I have subscribed!