When Daddy {Can’t} Go to Church

I was grumbling to myself on Saturday morning, knowing Sunday was just around the corner and again, I would be going to church alone with the children.  Stewing the details around my head, the fact that my husband was working on Sunday just down right irritated me.

“Church is important,” I was saying to myself. “God tells us to take the Sabbath off and be with our family! My husband should be going to church with us! And doesn’t he know how *hard* it is to sit through a service with six children by myself?” {Our church does not do Sunday School and we are grateful for that – in fact, it was one of the reasons we choose this church, however it does make sitting through a service a bit more challenging, to say the least, when you have young ones.}


Let me back up and say – my husband DOES go to church with us when he can. But every other week or so, he must work a Sunday. He’s a mortician and morticians do not necessarily get weekends off. If someone dies, the family members need a funeral director who’s willing to be there at any time of the day, week or month, holidays or not. Yes, even Christmas Day.


So sometimes, he goes to work and I go to church alone with the girls.

And this week, it was really bugging me. I was frustrated and tried praying over the situation (because it is not about to change any time soon … we’ve been dealing with this lifestyle for the past 13 years of our marriage). And then I thought to email a Wise Woman of the Word, someone I trusted would have a good Biblical answer to my problem.


Her name is Lori and she blogs here. I wrote her a heartfelt email, explaining my grumbling spirit, my husband’s job, how he works Sundays and how it frustrates me!

Her reply was just what I needed. It lifted a huge weight from my shoulders and I looked at the entire situation with a different light. I knew she would help me sort out the problem and look at it with a Biblical perspective.

{See the value of having wise, older women in your life?}

This was her reply:


Dear Gillian,

It’s okay if he doesn’t go to church with you on Sunday because we are NO longer under the Law and its ordinances. We are under the Law of grace. Show grace and love towards your husband. He is NOT sinning; he is working hard to provide for his family. He shows he is a godly man by his behavior; supporting and loving his family. We are the church! My husband missed many Sundays due to traveling and sometimes, he just wanted to take the day off and play basketball. So what? He still loved me and the children, loved God and was faithful to me. Admire him for all of his wonderful qualities, which it sounds like he has a lot of and praise him for them. Stop making his life any more difficult than it is. Praise his hard work to your children. Thank your father-in-law for leaving such a good job for your husband to provide for your family! Rejoice!

Blessings to you!


She is so right! There are many who go to church faithfully week after week who are hypocrites and not living the life of a Saved person during the week.  Going to church does not make you saved.

Now I am NOT saying skip church to play sports. I am not saying to gather up flimsy excuses to skip church whenever you wish. I am a bit of a stickler, I’d say, about going to church and not missing very many Sundays.  However, I am saying, I know my husband loves Jesus, he loves his family, but he has to work Sundays now and then. It knew it was time to stop pouting and time to rejoice that I have been blessed with a husband who works hard for our family – even if means he cannot sit beside me each Sunday after Sunday.


I wanted to write this to encourage other wives who may also be sitting alone in their church row some Sundays of the month. First off, you are not alone! God sees your heart and He sees your husband’s heart. He knows whether we are going to church to fulfill the motions or going to church to grow and serve and train up your children in the Scriptures. We are not to be the ‘Holy Spirit’ to our husbands. If your husband is saved, then you are a blessed woman, even if he cannot come to church on a weekly basis.

Do not be discouraged, my friend, when you see other families with dads completing the Sunday picture.

Thank God for the husband He gave you and rejoice!


June 17, 2015 - 6:10 pm

Heather Love your transparency and your wisdom in searching for a godly answer to your frustration, Gillian. I love Lori too 🙂
You know it’s a God response when it all seems to make sense and the result is peace and harmony. Bless you as you raise those amazing girls! XO

June 16, 2015 - 6:46 am

Lesley Mooney What a powerful Testimony of truth!!! 🙂 We are so blessed to have women in our Church to go to and become accountable to !!! We have that at our Church as well!!! BTW ( Your Mom is one many of the women go to for advise!!! Have a Blessed week with your beautiful Family !!! 🙂

June 15, 2015 - 10:53 pm

Brenda (Gigi’s Mom) What a great blog, Gillian! So truthful and heartfelt … I love Lori’s reply to you – what amazing truths! Be blessed by your husband, your children, your mentor Lori and most of all by the Lord! What a great testimony of His Love for us! xoxo

June 15, 2015 - 6:51 am

Rose @ Walnut Acre Thank you for this honest and encouraging post. I’ve been dealing with a similar situation and this truth is what I needed.

June 15, 2015 - 1:12 am

Our Home Of Many Blessings Wonderful post….I am a faithful reader to Lori’s blog.I am always looking for a new post from her.I consider her a great Titus 2 woman and read her posts over and over again.!She tells it like it is and I need that….over and over again!You give wonderful insight as well and I’m so glad that I found both you ladies!!!

June 14, 2015 - 8:58 pm

Terri-Ann PS- our church does not run a Sunday school during the worship service either. I know how tough it can be to get my boys to settle and stay (sort of)focused. We have about 75 kids under the age of 12 who attend at our church, so you can imagine the general hum and noise constantly there. But I absolutely love that we all sit and listen to the same sermons together. By the age of 7 or 8 my boys were really starting to listen and take things in.

June 14, 2015 - 8:55 pm

Terri-Ann My dad worked in the airline industry and shift work meant he could not choose to always be home on the a Sunday. My mom (and now I) reallythought church going was an important part of keeping the Sabbath holy and dedicated to God. However, she did realize that the Sabbath didn’t have to be a Sunday. My dad could still keep a day apart, serving, studying, reading the Word, even if it happened to be Thursday that week instead of Sunday. Since you and your family have the blessing of being home and together almost every day, you might find a way to create your own Sabbath if Sunday fills up.